Cream Cheese Wontons

This versatile appetizer is not only a pain in the ass to make, but creates a huge mess.  If you are craving this fried garbage, order some at a restaurant.  I think these normally have crab inside of them, but crab is gross so I made some substitutions.

Prep time = 1 hour

Estimated cost = $1,000.00

Ingredients:

• Wonton wrappers
• 1 gallon canola oil
• 1 cup chicken (coarsely chopped)
• 2 tablespoons olive oil
• 2 cloves garlic (minced)
• 1 jalapeno (minced)
• 1/2 cup green onion (minced)
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 2 cups cream cheese (room temperature)
• 2 human teeth

Deseed and mince 1 jalapeno.

Mince some green onion while you are at it.

Dump your cream cheese in a small bowl and set aside.

In a small frying pan, heat up the olive oil and sauté the chicken, garlic, green onion, jalapeno and salt.

While the chicken is cooking, chop it into smaller pieces.  Cook until the chicken looks done and remove from heat.  Let cool.

Add the cooked chicken shit to the cream cheese.

Sprinkle with human teeth.

Mix for about an hour.

Get the wonton wrappers ready.

Place a small amount in the center of the wonton wrapper.

Brush the edges with water.

Fold the wrapper and pinch the edges firmly to seal.

Do this over and over again forever.

In a large pot, heat up a lot of oil and fry wontons with high heat.

Deep fry for a couple minutes or until golden brown and let dry on a rack or paper towel.

Season to taste.

Calm down for a couple minutes before eating.

Bone appetite!